Parenting - Raising kids the old way
Parenting is tougher today for parents around the world as kids get more demanding and expectations are high on all ends. Being a parent and living in city, I felt a gap between how we were brought up and how we are parenting today.
Parents today are overindulgent due to various factors like rise of women, nuclear families, guilt of working mothers, affordability, consumerism etc.As
parents we don’t mean to spoil our kids but lot of times out of love we overpraise, overprotect and overindulge
Are you an over indulgent parent?
Lot of times we ask ourselves how much is enough, enough of canned juice for kids, enough of chocolates, enough of TV etc…How much is enough? What to give and where to put limit? Parents understanding on these trivial matters go a long way in deciding how they raise their kids
Overindulgence is giving to kid more than he needs or he asks. It is one of the dangerous forms of spoiling. How do we know we are doing it?
- Time out for kids – when parents are over
involved with kids. That is when kid gets all the attention of family at all
times. When they are handed toys even before asking, over fed even before
hungry and treated super special. When they are over attended to by parents or
nanny and rarely spend alone time and time playing with kids of their age.
Being Attention holders, never scolded, never disciplined and over-loved are
too overindulged
- Demands and tantrums: Kids are great observers and learners. Kids at toddler stage are known to throw tantrums and make demands. How do you deal with these tantrums and how fulfill the demands defines great deal on raising kids. If you agree to all demands kids make and every tantrum they throw without much thought, the toddler will continue to grow with his tantrums. Exposure to media and high demand of kids need to be tackled very carefully.
- Care and protection: Sometimes parents out of care and love do not let kids do thing they can do for themselves. Often parents get used to taking care of kids and forget to teach them to take care of themselves. Small self-care tasks like self-feeding, self-grooming, making their bags ready, cleaning their rooms etc. must be taught to kids. When parents do too much for their children, kids get used to not doing anything on their own. Such kids often face difficulty in adult jobs and taking care of self later in the life
- Over praising – Often parents over-praise their kids to boost their confidence and sometimes to just keep them happy. Lavish praise makes kid over confident, unrealistic and leads them to believe that they are more special than other kids. Over praising kids every now and then may make them arrogant, too much in love with themselves and so as to say narcissistic.
Parents should try
and be conservative with praises. Rather than agreeing with everything kids
say, give it a thought and opine what you think is right. No Parent would want
to hurt kids feeling but sometimes thats what you have to do. Or else children
grow up with lack of independence and fear of taking responsibility. It is
important that kids don’t grow to be self-centered , be realistic and know that
life is tough and be prepared for it. It’s is best to be honest with kids and
let them find their own potential and drives.
As they say success does not come the easy way!
Also read my post on raising Responsible kids
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