How to deal with stubborn child / Tantrum control

How to deal with stubborn child / Tantrum control

Dealing with kids temper tantrums /pester power of stubborn child is important part of parenting. Temper tantrum in toddlers are common but sometimes these continue to kids in teen and they become too stubborn to deal with. 

In India with rise double in income families and rise of middle class, we have seen generous parents and influential kids .Kids have become "Influencers" in purchase decision-making. Also with the rising nuclear family culture, the child’s say in decision-making has increased a great deal. They display an incomparable power to pester their parents and completely influence the purchasing decision. In addition to their own needs and demands, kids are also influencing general buying decisions in the family.

Working parents develop a guilt of not being able to spend enough with kids .Parents want that the little time they spend with their kids to be very happy one. and The want to compensate for all the time they are not there by agreeing to child's demand.

For instance, the choice of a sofa set for the family, colors of the wall, which soap to use, brand of car to be bought, curtains in the house or the furniture, which movies to watch—they are involved in the decision-making for all these purchases. Though their inputs might not be the final word on a purchase, they are definitely able to influence decisions.

Today children are born in a world where they see internet , cameras, phones, TV,s all staring at them. Letting children make their own choices includes teaching them the outcome of the choices on life forward early on gives you a good headstart. 

Big Steps - 

- Don't agree to everything- teach child how to take 'no' for an answer. If you go shopping do buy few things of kids choice but not everything. Also for initial times help them to take no sometimes by empathizing with them and pacifying them 

- Stay Calm & Be firm - Be calm, punishment and being strict with kids does not help in solving the matter. Also It is important that both parents be firm on the decision. Playing a "good parent and bad parent " has more adverse affects  

-Sometimes agree to a middle path - Kids are little people who see themselves as individual capable of deciding .So sometimes in-front of guest or public they situation they want to be heard and agreed too. In such situations something like middle-path a win win has to be forged. 

- Discipline and reward for good behavior- encouraging routine discipline and rewarding kids on good behavior is very motivating  

Small Steps -

-Don't buy out of comparison - Dont buy anything because kids compare and because you can afford . Kids do like little toys and treats at intervals but make them understand that few things cannot be bought . 

-Don't agree out of guilt - Try and make whatever time you spend with kids quality time by teaching them good manners, having fun..avoid indulging in new toys all the time 

- Food decisions- parents are kids role model- So what we eat outside and don't,  affects kids a lot. Also making kids understand of the goodness of what you eat. Substituting chips with cakes, Juices with fruits etc. When you eat outside insist on term like freshness, germs free ,cleanliness, fat free ,less sugar, calories etc

- Emphasize on goodness of small things, like good manners, sharing and simplicity

-Limit children’s TV,  small screen time (including Internet and computer games) to less than two hours daily.  

You can deal with these in peaceful way with your kids in your own way. Observing kids behavior and knowing kids what they like helps a lot 

                                             Start early. Being patient with kid is the key here 
                                                                                                                           - Spell and Charm